SCOTT SIMON, HOST:
In the opening moments of a new documentary, a bright young girl named Aubrey, who's good at math, talks numbers.
(SOUNDBITE OF DOCUMENTARY, "DAUGHTERS")
AUBREY: It was nine years in there. The police took away two, and then it was seven.
SIMON: It's the number of years in her father's prison sentence. And that film now on Netflix is called "Daughters." It follows the emotional preparations on all sides for a dance, a daddy-daughters dance with fathers who are inmates in a Washington, D.C. jail. The documentary is co-directed by Natalie Rae and Angela Patton, and they join us now from NPR West in Culver City, Calif. Thank you both so much for being with us.
ANGELA PATTON: Thank you for having us today.
NATALIE RAE: Thanks for having us.
SIMON: Angela Patton, you've been organizing these dances for a few years now, haven't you?
PATTON: Correct.
SIMON: Why?
PATTON: Why not? It was a request from young girls in Richmond, Va., if they actually wanted to change narrative and mindset about how Black fathers show up in Black girls' lives. And they were planning a dance to celebrate their fathers in their communities and found out that one of their peers could not attend the dance because her father was incarcerated. And these unstoppable, amazing young girls decided on their own to reach out to the sheriff in Richmond, Va., and they wrote him a letter asking to request a dance of their own for girls whose fathers were incarcerated so that they could have the same memorable experiences and really believe that just because their fathers were locked in, that they should not be locked out of the lives of their daughters.
SIMON: Yeah. Natalie Rae, what drew you to help tell the story of this one dance in particular?
RAE: I was so inspired by these girls. I mean, at that point in my career, I was really passionate about telling young women's stories, but I hadn't found something quite like this, where the empowerment piece was really just giving space for the brilliance of young women to just be exactly who they are. And then the onus of some of the work was on the fathers connecting more emotionally, maybe ways that this system that was keeping everyone apart could be open to create an experience like this. So I've just been honored to be on this journey with Angela the last eight years, and these girls have completely changed my life forever.
SIMON: There's a shot that just sweeps you away. Daughters in their dresses coming down a hallway holding hands with each other, holding back tears. Then they find their fathers in suits and ties sitting in folding chairs.
(SOUNDBITE OF DOCUMENTARY, "DAUGHTERS")
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: I miss you.
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD #1: I miss you, too. I miss you, too.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: I like your hair.
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD #2: Daddy.
SIMON: Oh, my gosh - and the hugs and the tears and the cheers. What was it like to be there?
RAE: I mean, for me, as the first time experiencing this, it was so overwhelming. And, of course, I was just standing back, like, bawling my eyes out.
(SOUNDBITE OF DOCUMENTARY, "DAUGHTERS")
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: You all right?
UNIDENTIFIED CHILD #3: (Crying).
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: It's all right. It's OK.
RAE: And my cinematographer, Cambio, also was like, I don't know if anything's going to be in focus 'cause the iris is just so full of tears the whole time. But the love and that connection and everyone just melting in that moment, it was just so beautiful and so powerful.
SIMON: Angela Patton, what do dances like these do for daughters and fathers?
PATTON: It does a lot. But I would say that it allows them to take the first step towards healing. The opportunity for the father to pull out her chair and to serve her food and to also have this personal touch is something that's undescribable (ph). It is irreplaceable. And the fathers start to have, I would say, their own aha moment about their role and responsibility of just showing up. And the girls are in the position of, like, forgiveness and understand second chances and understand hard work at a very early age, you know, as young girls to say, this is how we resolve issues in our family.
SIMON: And to be utterly practical about it, it's difficult to ask people who are incarcerated to be emotionally open and vulnerable at a time when they feel they have to at least pretend that they're invulnerable, don't they?
PATTON: Yes. I do believe that it can be challenging. But if you create a space, as we have done, with fatherhood - you know, I love the fact that we're able to see the fathers are like, you know, I really signed up for this because I just wanted a visit with my daughter, but I realized that I've been able to build and have conversations with other men that I've never had before, and this was good for my soul.
But if you're never put in that position - I always tell people one of the reasons I believe I even have conflict resolution skills is I remember being a young girl at the bus stop with my best friend, and we had an argument. And I'm looking one way, and she's looking the other way. And my mother will come out there, and she'd be like, come in here, girls. Fix it. Talk about it. What are you doing? You love each other.
But when you don't have someone reminding you about how to continue to show up for yourself and others, you know, how would you have the tools? How are you equipped to be able to pass that on when you become a parent? And so this was probably their first time understanding what it means and what it looks like to have these vulnerable conversations and to express themselves and to feel free.
SIMON: As your film says, since 2014, a lot of prisons have ended allowing visits that permit touching, even hand-holding. Prison systems say that even holding hands has been used to pass along drugs and weapons. What do you think the effect of this no-touch visit practice has been?
RAE: Talking to the fathers and the daughters at the very beginning of the project, tell me about your situation. What are things you'd like to change? The No. 1 thing everyone would say was, I just want to be able to touch my daughter. I want to touch my dad. I miss - I just want to visit him. I want to touch him again. And I realized that a lot of these visitation abilities were being closed down, and even the rooms that had the plexiglass were being closed down. So you can't even go to the jail or prison and look someone in the eye and feel the presence of them. It became a very deep theme in the film. And what I also feel is so powerful about the dance is that it is about touch and movement and being in your body.
SIMON: The film is called "Daughters." Is it important to center what we see and experience on the story of these young girls who discover a way they can steer their own course in life no matter what has gone before or what their father may have done?
PATTON: Yes. Well, I think a program like Girls For A Change was the best for the girls to be able to have a brave space to think about the dance. But what it also does is make sure that the girls know that no matter what their fathers' choices are, that they do not define her potential. And so that's what we do at Girls For A Change, is to make sure that when we are preparing the girls for the world, we also are preparing the world for the girls. And that means that sometimes, unfortunately, baby, everybody is not going to see you. But when you look at that mirror, you see yourself, and you thrive, and you get up every day, and you keep it moving.
SIMON: Angela Patton and Natalie Rae. Their new film "Daughters" now on Netflix. Thank you both so much for being with us.
PATTON: Thank you for having us.
RAE: Thank you so much. So grateful to be here. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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